FUCK THEORY

I Think It’s Time For A New Mayor

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I really can’t begin to express how offensive I find bullshit like this. 

Let’s try to give Mayor Bloomberg the benefit of the doubt for a minute and assume his motives are sincere.  What could be the basis for such an egregious breach of privacy?  Well, we can only really suggest two possibilities.  We could suggest that Mayor Bloombergreallywants the best for the citizens of New York.  We could also suggest that Mayor Bloombergreallyfinds smoking offensive and has a personal vendetta against the smoking industry.  Maybe someone close to him died of lung cancer, say.

In the first case - if we give Mayor Bloomberg the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just trying to improve the quality of life for New Yorkers - it goes completely without saying that, as far as quality-of-life issues go, second-hand smoke is really not a pressing concern for most New Yorkers.  You can’t smoke in public places anymore.  You can’t smoke in commercial establishments anymore.  You can’t even smoke in Central fucking Park anymore.  I haven’t seen statistics on the subject, but I’m gonna go ahead and cautiously suggest that the number of people suffering terrible health complications as a result of second-hand smoke wafting out from under the doors of neighboring apartments is not terribly high.  In other words, if what Mayor Mikes really wants is to improve the quality of life for New Yorkers, maybe he should look into taking care of something that’s, I don’t know, actually a problem?  Like, maybe subsidizing public transport?  Or training the NYPD not to be homophobic in a city that has what might actually be the largest queer population in the world?  Or limiting the number of fucking tourists that are allowed to enter the city per day? 

In the second case - if we give Mayor Bloomberg the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s a genuine and passionate anti-smoking crusader - it goes equally without saying that there are muchmore important interventions to be made that enacting laws that directly inconvenience private citizens.  For example, maybe you could enact a law that would require drugs stores and grocery stores to keep their cigarettes underthe counter, instead of prominently displaying them behind the counter?  Or, for that matter, maybe you could use some of your countless millions of dollars to counteract some of the pernicious influence that the tobacco lobby has in Washington, and help protectall Americans from second-hand smoke, rather than just New Yorkers?

In other words, even if we give Mayor Bloomberg the benefit of the doubt and assume that the intentions behind this egregious violation of privacy are good, it still remains absolutely the case that that whatever those good intentions might be, this is absolute the wrong way to pursue them.  In fact, whatever your intentions, tackling a wide-spread public health problem by attacking the private individuals who suffer from it rather than the multi-national corporations responsible for it is a pathetic and reactionary act of moral cowardice.

I think it’s time that you and your millions moved along, Mike, so New York can have a mayor who actually understands the city’s values.  A millionaire mayor who sends the police to kick protesters out of Zuccotti Park and tries to regulate how people enjoy themselves in the privacy of their apartments clearly has no fucking clue what this city is about.