How To Ride The Subway
One time on the 1 train I got on the train at 168th St. with this girl who had nurse’s scrubs on; she’d obviously just come from a shift at the hospital, had her hair in a bun, flats, no makeup on. By the time she got off at 14th Street, she’d changed her hair, her shoes, and the her clothes and applied a perfect coat of just-a-little-more-eyeshadow-and-I’d-look-like-a-prostitute makeup. She went from a nurse in a Lars von Trier movie to a nurse on Grey’s Anatomy in less than 20 subway stops, and I couldn’t stop staring at her the whole time. It was incredible.
My biggest two pet peeves (of the ones in the above video) are the music blaring (if you’re sitting opposite me, not next to me, and your music is louder than the noise of the subway, it’s too fucking loud) and, worst of all, people who stop AT THE FUCKING TURNSTILE to fish their wallet out. During rush hour.
If all of this seems petty or trivial to you, you probably don’t live in New York and/or you drive to the grocery store and you’ve probably never relied on public transport to get you on time to a really, really important meeting. If that’s the case, this post is not about you.